No matter what you do, she will find an excuse to divorce you or she will use it as a threat to test your strength so she can eventually leave you for not being strong enough.
In this articles I will explain how women think so you can understand what’s going on in the minds of modern Muslim women that leads them to seek a divorce breakup.
The wrong idea
Many young Muslims are focusing on building their wealth while another group of young men are busy building muscles and a good looking body.
This generation of men are constantly avoiding marriage because deep down they’re afraid that if they don’t earn enough money or have a good looking physique, their wife will divorce them after they get married.
If the parents keep pushing their son towards marriage, these young men make up excuses that they need to earn a lot of money and buy a house before they can start taking responsibility of a wife and hopefully any children that are born from that marriage. The fear of divorce prevents them from even starting this new life.
Unfortunately, no matter how much money or muscles a man builds, she will still find an excuse to get a divorce and leave because the real reason isn’t what she says it is or what other people may have told you.
Guys more successful than you
If money was the solution to preventing divorce and keeping your woman, then the two richest men in the world; Microsoft’s Bill Gates and Amazon’s Jeff Bezos wouldn’t be divorced. If big muscles were the answer to this problem, then Arnold Schwartznegger and Ronnie Coleman wouldn’t have gotten divorced from their wives.
The Fitna and Fasaad living in the minds of modern Muslim women is there because they have been brought up with feminist idea and beliefs that these women believe in like a religion. They won’t let you call these feminist beliefs wrong. That’s how you know they believe in it religiously. For such women, marriage and divorce has become an game that they can stop and start whenever they feel like.
Her excuses about your manhood, your body or your wallet being too small are silly excuses to hide the real problem that is deeply rooted in her mind and shows in her attitude. It’s this mental problem that make her want to leave a longterm relationship and head towards divorce, not you.
That’s why it only makes sense to completely figure how to manage relationships with women first before you start focusing on making good money or getting healthy.
You will lose everything.
Money: If you earn a lot of money, she will take it through the divorce court.
Muscles: If you have muscles, you will lose those muscles over time when she gives you grief everyday through arguments and you won’t attend your gym sessions due to this stress.
Sexual prowess: If you are proud of your sexual ability, you will develop erectile dysfunction caused by tension in your relationship because her attitude and disrespect, and the threat of divorce will drain you mentally and emotionally.
This regular stress is the 1 biggest reason that men in our culture are dying early. I wrote an article discussing it in detail. You can read about it here.
There’s some other reason
I understand that there certain women that are not like this, but in my experience of looking at multiple relationships from different people, the woman is always good to the man because of factors other than the man’s own personality.
She maybe good to the man because she is afraid of losing him and the money he provides, or she may be afraid of the Mother in Law. There might be another matter that keeps her on her best behaviour so that she can achieve a big goal.
Whatever the reason maybe, her nice attitude and appreciation isn’t forever. In the above examples, when the man starts showing constant commitment and her fear of of being alone is gone, or if the mother in law dies, or when her goal is achieved, she will bounce back to ungrateful and unappreciative behaviour.
The true form of Masculinity
The only thing that keeps her submissive and on good behaviour is the man’s everyday masculine attitude. A woman feeds off this masculine energy everyday to stay feminine.
For a man to become truly masculine, he has to change his thoughts and standards. What he believes is right and wrong, and what he will and will not put up with. These standards he can only learn from men. That why:
You never ask a fish how to catch a fish. You ask a fisherman.
If you learn about women from other women, they will feed you information that will sabotage your relationships. That’s why you shouldn’t even ask your mother about dealing with your wife. Women have never been a man, so they can’t give solutions to problems that they have never experienced. Read that again.
Women will speak the same words as us but they will mean something very different because women don’t speak men’s language. So women’s relationship advice and half complete answers will only mess up your solution and drive your relationship into the ground.
Women are not evil
They don’t do this on purpose, this is just how they are programmed. Women aren’t evil. It’s just their nature to be crafty and manipulative. So it’s important for a man to understand this nature so that he can deal with her in a mature and calm manner.
Human arguments happen when expectations are broken.
If you never create expectations that you learnt from Bollywood and Hollywood about how women ‘should be’, then you will never be disappointed when a woman doesn’t act like you think she is ‘supposed’ to act. We men are just as brainwashed by media about how a woman is supposed to be. It is very painful to let go of ideas that were put into our heads since childhood because thats all we have ever known.
If modern men delete the ideas planted into our minds by government media about women’s nature and this fictional equality, then it becomes easy to see and accept that the old ways that men handled women throughout history was the best way to have strong relationships that lasted forever.
Conclusion
Dealing with women’s issues isn’t easy when we start a hopefully Halal relationship. But if the relationship is Halal or Haram, the problems are the same because women’s nature is the same.
In can take decades to figure out this relationship puzzle, but once a man understands how the relationship gears turn, he can make it work so that everyone benefits.
What do you think about relationship breakups and divorce? How should we as Muslim men deal with it in this modern age?